Responsible for your own happiness

Get ready to read the best relationship advice | Source: iStock

Relationships are hard. They take a lot of dedication, focus, and work. Finding the right person to settle down with can often feel like a very frustrating game of chance. And even when you do find the right one, you’ll still have your work cut out for you as you make an effort to maintain your relationship.

If you’re looking for a little guidance when it comes to love, you’ve come to the right place. The Cheat Sheet spoke with eight top relationship experts to get some of their best advice. So pull up a chair and read on for more.

You are responsible for your own happiness

Couple lying on the sand | Source: Thinkstock

It’s not my partner’s job to make me happy. It’s my job to make me happy. Of course it’s easy to feel good when my partner is acting in a way that I want —but needing them to be a certain way in order for me to feel good —that’s bondage. Thinking that they’re always going to be in a good mood and directing their affectionate attention towards me — while that may be possible during the initial stage of a relationship, is impossible to sustain long-term. I’m responsible for my happiness. My partner is responsible for her happiness. We deliberately focus on things to feel good in our lives and for things to appreciate in one another.

If you’re looking for someone to complete you —or vice versa—you’re looking in the wrong direction for the lasting happiness, wholeness, and fulfillment that you truly seek. Wouldn’t it be better if you could find a way to feel how you want to feel regardless of what you’re partner is saying or doing?

This advice transformed every relationship in my life – not just the romantic ones.  Before I knew these things, I was unintentionally holding my partner responsible for my happiness. When I learned that I’m responsible for my own happiness and when I learned how to consistently align with it, my entire world transformed.  I now have the freedom to choose if and when I spend time with someone else, and I deliberately choose to spend time with others who get this, too.  My relationships are more meaningful, more loving, more free, and most importantly – more fun!  And my overall happiness continues to grow, too, regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or not.

Jeff Bear, life coach and founder of Bear Partners.

Resource: cheatsheet.com